Going Home With Sound

Etch To Their Own

Going home can be difficult. I’ve found that pictures are good, but videos are better — and what’s better than that is high quality sound.

It’s better than the sound you’ll collect with a camera, and it’s wonderful for putting yourself somewhere while a work. Or anywhere really.

So that’s what I’ve started to do: make field recordings of home, so that I can be there at any time.

Here’s the first one:

This was recorded at about 11am on Sunday 6th March 2016. It contains:

  • birds quietly chirping (coots, blue tits, great tits)
  • bird noisily arguing (carrion crows, Canada geese)
  • at 9:15–9:30 there’s the sound of a Canada goose clearing it’s throat (to say sorry we assume).
  • ducks accelerating in the water
  • the noise of the back door being opened and closed
  • footsteps slapping under the awning
  • occasional car noises
  • some muffled exclamations from inside
  • occasional rustle of a coat

This is my first recording, so comments are much appreciated.

I’d like to turn this into a bigger project which takes in all different spaces of the house, lake and land.

Bio-degradable: The Social Network Which Is Falling Apart Quicker Than You Are!

Etch To Their Own

In the future, when you’re all using my new social network, and I’m living high on venture capital money, this post will be considered very important.

This is how the dream started:

Okay, so that was more of a request for money. Here’s the pitch:

So yeah, luckily the guys from Y Combinator decided to leave a series of sacks of small mammal corpses for me to leap over on my evening run, and the rest is history. I really feel like that addition of toothy slugs and triple-processed rat skeletons made it feel like they got me unlike the other people who just offered me money.

Let’s unpack the challenges facing us at Bio-degradable inc.


What problem are we trying to solve at Bio-D?

There’s two problems we’re trying to solve here — the degrading time-slipped self, and the un-mooring of memories from the who you are now.

Your Traitorous Presentation of Self: We think the profile picture you’re using right now is tantamount to treason against the present. It’s from 3 years ago right? From that nice holiday you had that you still talk about and forget that you’ve been pretty much stationary for 3 years.

We’re trying to stop you lying to yourself by breaking everything you present about yourself online regularly. You will mostly be tending to a bio page which could stand in for yourself online. There’s no linear presentation of posts over time, there’s non of that mismatched context of serious-person-who has-actually-been-retweeting-cats-for-half-an-hour confusion for visitors.

You Decide What Memories to Maintain, Publicly — Every day: No memories will need to come back to haunt you about your dead dog, family or houseplant. Instead, you will be used to updating the information on your Bio-D page so often that the gap between “have an old cat” and “used to have a cat :(” is immediate as possible. If you want that information remembered on our site, you will need to tend to it daily.

What a good ritual that would be.

How can we do it?

We’re going to limit you in some ways, and demand your care and attention in others.

This is a powerful form of self care that mirrors real self care. I say mirrors, I mean replaces of course.

Ways in which your profile will degrade any give day:

  1. Your images will glitch, or be reprocessed into worse versions of your images. We will send round an army of glitchbots to ruin the pictures of you, based on hand-coded pan-seared artisanal algorithms.
  2. We will replace your good word with bad, weak ones. We’ll add in modifiers to your nouns and concepts which kind of weaken them. We’ll add in weak aphorisms, if you know what I mean. Again, this will be done by a greedy database troll-bot which lives in an unused comments section which we won’t enable.
  3. While you will be able to make your profile beautiful with lovely fonts and styles, our director-bot will wander around changing things to comic sans and adding marquee tags.

Don’t worry though, we won’t mess about with your links, because that would be cruel and unusual. We’re trying to be only one of those things at a time each.

How do we keep it interesting?

Virus type spreading for viral changes, infect your friends! That’s right, we will make the kind of glitch running across your profile relate to the popularity of it. You link someone to your profile, they’ll be infected and have it apply to their profile, and any others they visit.

Seasonal changes to the kind of degradation to your profile! You’ll love what we’re going to do to that picture of your dog for Easter!

Sponsored degradation! Now your favourite brand can ruin your profile as well as the rest of your life. Sweet, like the taste of Pepsi.

Are you ready to bio-degrade?

Trick question, you already are! Enjoy your flesh while you have it!

If you wanted to sign up to something, there’s this TinyLetter called Etch To Their Own which I have been working on for a while. It’s about ritual, systems, symbolism and process. It hasn’t happened yet, but will soon!

https://tinyletter.com/cjeggett

What Google Is

Etch To Their Own

Google is a reverse dictionary.

Google is wagon that pushes the horse.

Google is your gossiping friend.

You don’t remember how you met Google.

Google is a word you type sometimes when you mean to type good

You’re worried you can’t remember anything without Google.

Google has all your stuff, and won’t give it back. Or if it does, you know it still has a copy, and if it doesn’t have a copy it will remember having had it anyway.

You can’t remember if it’s your name on the lease, or Google’s. You know you’re paying the rent.

Google is keeping track of who you’re friends with.

“Google, where did I leave my keys?”

“Google, you don’t have to go everywhere with me.”

Google wants you to talk to it.

Google asks you to fill in CAPTCHAs so it can understand written words and text in photos better.

Google is in your home, and won’t let you touch the thermostat.

Google is breeding robots.

Google owes your government money. Google thinks it would be better if it could access the market freely, but maybe stick some banner ads on GCHQ instead.

Google tells you it’s better at giving you the answers you want, you’re not so sure any more, but don’t know how to ask questions without Google.

Google is outside your home, taking pictures of your house. If they had let you know they were coming, then you probably would have mown the lawn.

Google want to drive your car for you. Which, honestly? You’re fine with.

Google keeps your mail safe for you, and only peeks at some of it.

Google wants you to see the right kind of advertising.

Google used to be the kind of friend who would look after your old books for you, but isn’t really into that kind of thing any more.

Google reminds you that it will always be here, but it doesn’t know whether you’ll be.


I hope to keep this updated with more statements and links, please leave comments and citations, or tweet at me!

Hardness and Healing: January Reading

Etch To Their Own

The books: The Notebook by Agota Kristof, Pygmy by Chuck Palahniuk and Grief is the thing with Feathers by Max Porter. Bonus Edit: Pers Petterson’s Ashes in my mouth, San in my shoes.

I managed to squeeze in three short books over the last few weeks.

I do love a dense novel from time to time, but often I would prefer something tighter and more targeted. There should be more short, intense books that deliver an emotional payload without the burden of having to be 450 pages. Most writers make their point by page 50, and finish ironing it out by 150 at the most — the rest is just fireworks.

With this in mind please feel to let me know about short, intense books that you’ve read a loved. They’re oddly hard to find!

All three books this month feature some kind of childhood memoir — albeit fictional. It’s a particularly good mode of writing for setting apart the absurdity of actual grown-up life and the world that the children perceive.

I read Max Porter’s Grief is the things with Feathers in December, but I am including it as it was the last and best book I read in 2015. It is a true depiction of the haunting of grief. Anyone who has lost someone close to them will find the book familiar, it expresses the rage that grief gifts and the power it takes away. Through it’s voices you find all sorts of madness and softness — there is bargaining and extreme acts of kindness. You can probably find tears in the book.

The feathers belong to the crow, who moves in to the family home when the widower, having moved past the perfunctory elements of his wife’s death, funeral and so on, finally lets grief take hold. The story is told through the three voices of the widower, the two children “Boys” and the crow. The boys offer up the deep sadness of the world not understanding the importance of their mother’s death. The father plays out all the stressful distances he feels now he is unmoored. The crow, most enjoyably, talks to the madness of grief — and the strengths that it gives those in it’s thrall.

The span of the book takes in their healing too — and how that healing sometimes looks like hardening.

Pygmy recounts the journal entries of a young spy sent from an unnamed ex-soviet republic to the US south. It is written in the broken, over-descriptive English of a child who has been through the mangle of a vicious system of brainwashing, training and brutality. The fun is in the satire of the American south through the distancing, over-describing language that comes from someone writing in a second language who is desperate to be exact. It’s gentle, and broadly expresses the warmth of that culture.

Describing the flowers in a mega-church (a dead mall lazarus’d into a place of faux-televangical Christian worship) as “plant genitals” still gets a chuckle from me. As does describing the wall-mart greeter as a “most venerated corpse” . The joy in reading it comes from these piecing together of the broken descriptions into particularly southern American scenes.

Our agent, and his fellow agents, are planning a disruptive and deadly event while also attempting to integrate themselves as a long term sleeper cell.

While it’s an interesting read for the language, it soon falls into traditional Chuck P territory of squishy over-sharing. It’s what I loved about him the first time I read Choke, or Invisible Monsters — but it has felt too familiar this time. Maybe I will come back to him one day.

The Notebook is a war diary of two twins ferried across the boarder to Switzerland from Hungary to live with their rural grandmother. Abandoned by their mother, they soon find that they are given chores and forced to sleep in the cold attic. They soon find a solution to their misery: to turn the experience into a set of exercises for understanding and enduring negative experiences. They lie still as if they were dead to practice in not moving. The fast to know the pain of hunger. The grandmother is an antagonist here, until they starts to apply their deviousness to her or to those around her.

This is a story of childhood coping. While they look upon the world with sometimes like amusement as they have learned to live outside it — as their grandmother has — and use their hardening against it. There is no healing here, but you can’t help but feel like you’re on their side — one which is fully from the point of view of childhood.

Whereas Grief is the things with Feathers show as way that childhood coping and hardening can lead to a normal life, in Kristof’s novel we explore the idea that you don’t have to leave the outsider view of childhood behind, if you’re ready to act on the brutality of it.

Bonus: Pers Petterson’s Ashes in my mouth, San in my shoes. This is a childhood memoir which covers the small sadnesses of childhood in a way the others don’t. It’s not filled with tragedy, but the interconnected short stories all put Arvid at the centre of small failings of a working class Norwegian family. It’s jolly and boy’s own in its way in terms of the plot, structure and activities Arvid finds himself involved in — but his internal feeling of sadness, weight, and fear for his father (because he is so strong), compliments the other books mentioned here.

The Terrible Impotent Heart Of Watching The Crystal Maze

Etch To Their Own

“Physical. Me.” he says — as team leader he’s sure of himself — no one else could do this task like he is going to. No one can be as sure of his ability to take on this physical task more than he after all.

And then this happens:

No, there was no way Ian could have known that he was going to put in the performance of his life.

Watching that, we were all joining the team in their desperate pleading with Ian. You can hear the desperation slip into their voices one by one. They move quickly from encouragement, actions, ideas, discussion to accepting that they’re not getting another crystal, and Ian must return to the group with his life-on-the-telly in tatters.

We’ve all suffered like Ian — especially in having watched him fail so terribly.

Ian’s trial was torture to watch maybe because of how sure, how serious he was when he took the challenge himself. It’s sad because all know what it’s like to fuck up.

Next.

Lorraine suffers a more terrible fate:

It’s like watching a dying bumble bee, with a broken wing, desperately smash its face against the window. It flails. It flails in a different way — you think it might even make it out of the window — to what sad fate you’re not sure, but at least it would be less futile.

You want it to get out — you mistake it’s random flailing as trying out different things, making choices, refining logically and it will eventually escape, obviously…

But it’s too hard to watch, you leave the bumble bee, and when you return you find it dead on your windowsill.

The bumblebee is dead, unable to escape, Lorraine is soaked and crystal-less.

What a sad end each meets.

Next.

Apparently this is someone called Cad. Cad does not seem to have a good time with stairs.

You’re in for a bad time Cad, this is pseudo-ancient-Egyptian/Aztec-whatever bullshit here — and the only thing everyone knows about these ancient and probably totally reasonable people is that the liked making things with lots of steps on them.

This is how you die Cad, probably.

Maybe this is why Cad is so scared of steps. He once went to a local fayre and had his future read by a mystic looking woman who had probably once tried pilates. She said this is how he would die. The cards did anyway, you don’t get the step ladder, the tower and the flip-flops without reading something into it.

Maybe he read into it too much, maybe I am.

Speaking of missing the point. Next:

U3. Push U3.

I like this one particularly because of the way our beloved host Richard O’Brien has to involve himself at the end. He can’t resist, he broke the wall between weirdo host and the completely frustrated viewer.

Maybe that’s why it’s so good — an existential crisis where the host, the one person trying to keep an illusion of narrative going, has to give up and interject.

It’s like the sequel to Don Quixote or something.

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