Author: CjEggett

The Forbidden Dice: In Space!

Ada Press Games

Even Dungeon Crawl Classics doesn’t use this one!

I’m writing D13 something for the excellently unhinged LUCKY FOR NONE: IN SPACE!. Yes, D13, a very, very, odd looking dice that doesn’t really roll in the way you might expect and has a really cursed vibe. You should use that link up there to go and back it on Kickstarter. You get an actual D13 when you back it.

LUCKY FOR NONE: IN SPACE! is the follow-up to the equally-as-unhinged-but-much-more-terrestrial LUCKY FOR NONE. For that one I created an antagonistic D13 table that you could roll on and, sometimes, get ‘goblins cubed’. These are comedy horror games that laser-focus on the thrilling joy of… making up absolute nonsense with your friends while rolling some dice about. Will you avert the horrors befalling your town/spaceship? (spoiler: probably not). Will you have a great time as the world ends? (yes!)

We are in space this time round, which means I have a few options for what I can write for the game. We can focus on Alien tropes (D13 things-that-might-burst-from-your-chest), Star Trek jokes (D13 things that the malfunctioning holodeck is trying to get you to do), and something about the other one with the laser swords (D13 body parts you sever from holding it the wrong way round). Or, I could follow my heart and write D13 heart-wrenching moments of loss in space a la Interstellar. That might be a tonal black hole though.

BACK LUCKY FOR NONE: IN SPACE

This project is created by my friend C M Lowry and his co-writer Dave Emmerson. They run an excellent publisher and webstore called Beyond Cataclysm. You can even buy my games there, and they helped publish what is technically the 3rd Edition of OTHERSHIP. It’s pretty sick.

BONUS: A Summary of Forbidden Things..
The forbidden dice: D13
The forbidden scale: 11mm
The forbidden fruit: Tomato

Back LUCKY FOR NONE: IN SPACE! here!

Tom Waits Product Development and Market Readiness Checklist

This Will Feel More Important When I Am Dead

In Tom Wait’s seminal guide to product development Step Right Up (1979, Small Change) he explains what great products do. We’ve synthesised his work into this simple checklist. Ideally, any product you wish to release to market would have at least 50% of these boxes ticked.

☐ Everyone’s a winner
☐ Bargains galore
☐ One tenth of a dollar
☐ We got service after the sale
☐ How ’bout perfume
☐ How ’bout an engagement ring
☐ Somethin’ for the little lady (x3)
☐ 3 for a dollar
☐ We got a year end clearance
☐ We got our white sale on a smoke damaged furniture
☐ You can drive it away today.
☐ And receive as our gift
☐ They come in all colors
☐ One size fits all
☐ No muss, no fuss, no spills
☐ You tired of kitchen drudgery
☐ Everything must go
☐ Goin’ outta bizness sale (50% off original retail price)
☐ Skip the middle man
☐ Don’t settle for less
☐ Don’t be caught with your drawers down
☐ That’s right it fillets
☐ It chops, it dices, it slices
☐ It never stops
☐ Lasts a lifetime, it mows your lawn
☐ It picks up the kids from school
☐ It gets rid of unwanted facial hair
☐ It gets rid of embarrassing age spots
☐ It delivers the pizza
☐ And it lengthens
☐ And it strengthens
☐ And it finds that slipper that’s be en-lodged under the chaise lounge for several weeks
☐ And it plays a mean rhythm master
☐ It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
☐ And it’s only a dollar
☐ ’cause it forges your signature
☐ If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product for a complete refund of price of purchase
☐ Please allow thirty days for delivery
☐ Don’t be fooled by cheap imitations
☐ You can Live in it
☐ Laugh in it
☐ Love in it
☐ Swim in it
☐ Sleep in it
☐ And it removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets
☐ And it entertains visiting relatives
☐ It turns a sandwich into a banquet
☐ Tired of being the life of the party
☐ Change your shorts
☐ Change your life, change into a 9 year old Hindu boy
☐ Get rid of your wife
☐ And it walks your dog
☐ And it doubles on sax
☐ You can jump back jack
☐ And it steals your car
☐ It gets rid of your gambling debts
☐ It quits smoking
☐ It’s a friend, it’s a companion
☐ It’s the only product you will ever need
☐ Follow these easy assembly instructions
☐ It never needs ironing
☐ Well it takes weights off hips, Bust, Thighs, Chin, Midriff
☐ Gives you dandruff
☐ And it finds you a job
☐ It is a job
☐ And it strips the phone company of free tapes and your while exchange
☐ And it gives you denture breath
☐ And it gets rid of your travellers checks
☐ It’s new, it’s improved, it’s old fashioned
☐ Well it takes care of business
☐ Never needs winding
☐ Gets rid of blackheads, heartbreak, and psoriasis
☐ Christ, you don’t know the meaning of heartbreak buddy
☐ It creates household odors
☐ It disinfects
☐ It’s sanitised for your protection
☐ It gives you an erection
☐ It wins the election
☐ Why put up with painful corns any longer
☐ It’s a redeemable coupon
☐ No obligation
☐ No salesman will visit your home
☐ We got a jackpot Prizes! Prizes! Prizes!
☐ All work guaranteed
☐ Free brochure
☐ Read the easy to follow assembly instructions
☐ Batteries not included
☐ Send before midnight tomorrow
☐ The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away

A word on men: DRAGONS

This Will Feel More Important When I Am Dead

Here be dragons, cars, robots, boats, trains, books, flowers, horses, dogs, clothes, jewellery etc.

We have to face the fact and this mostly  applies to men, or at least, definataly applies to men in my experience, that: there is one thing that you loved in your childhood that you are going to spend the rest of your life trying to get back to.

There is one thing that you loved in your childhood that you are going to spend the rest of your life trying to get back to

There is something, in your life, from your formative time on this earth that makes you want to do anything at all.

Actually, that’s not quite true.

There are lots of things your life that make you know what you want to do. There are many things that make you feel like you have a purpose

You could have children, and in that, know that you have a place in the world, finally, when you hold them for the first time

You may find love and know that this is the person who you would like to place your skeleton next to in the earth

You could, I have heard but don’t quite believe, find a profession that is so engaging and meaningful to you that you know exactly what you want do all of your life.

(As I say, I don’t quite believe this, despite having lots of jobs that make me feel good and important and that my position in the world is one of being exactly where I want to be)

I am not talking about these motivations. I am not talking about these desires. I am not talking about these duties.

I am talking about the thing from your childhood that you hold on to somewhere inside, which is something that is just for you.

For me. It was dragons.

I read (or got read to), a lot of books about dragons as a child. They weren’t really about dragons being evil creatures who hoard their gold in mountains.

They were usually misunderstood.

One, in an early reading book, The Adventures of Dragon, given to me in 1990 by mum and dad, which I only know because it has the neat handwriting of my father inside the cover telling me so in pencil, was about a misunderstood dragon. He was lost and lonely in the woods, everyone was scared of him, but he just wanted to sing. Other stories showed how he was hunted, or how he did his best for the woodland creatures.

Another, There’s No Such Thing As Dragons, is about a little boy whose mother and father do not believe that a there is a dragon in his bedroom, or that the dragon, which keeps growing, is the one that is eating everything in the house. The dragon gets so big it is impossible for the adults to ignore. 

As a large child, I spent a lot of time being taught to be gentle. And being misunderstood as being older. Getting told of for knowing better or being told I wasn’t allowed to play in a certain place, according to other parents – not my own, because I was too old. I wasn’t, I was just taller and stronger and very aware that I didn’t want to hurt anyone at all.

This short introspection aside, I know that the thing that is calling me, and is just for me, is dragons. It is fantasy. It is adventure. It is intelligent, misunderstood, and powerful creatures. 

I’ve spent my life moving towards it. Pretending that I was only writing about monsters as a literary device. Maybe I was, but I think that also, I just want to write about monsters. Every novel I have ever written (and failed to publish) is, in some way, about monsters. They might be a metaphor for grief, or power, but they’re actually there in the room sometimes.

I think in some ways I have always felt like the monster in real life, and I’m very happy to not have been hunted for my loot and experience points.

I spent my time writing about board games and roleplaying games, and I was very happy there in part because I was getting a lot closer to just thinking about dragons.

It’s because these were for me. They’re important to me. They’re not for anyone else. I am bound by duty to so many different things in life and this is one of the motivations that I keep entirely for myself. Sure, my children likes it when I draw us a cool dragon, but really, that’s still for me.

It’s only come to me recently. That there’s one thing that we’re all racing back to. There’s some toy that we’re always heading to home to. Some minor thing that is ours. 

I think knowing it is important. There’s nothing worse than pretending to love something. Find out what it is at your heart, what it is in your toy box in your ribcage, and spend your time moving toward that. 

You’ll feel a lot happier. I promise. I do.

A Review

Ada Press Games

They’re so mad

I’d just like to share a few bits from the ‘release’ of OTHERSHIP into the wild.

Firstly, did you see this very kind review?

Jason is right. It doesn’t have any right to be good at all. It’s just a couple of pages of words and drawings!

Jason shouts out the system particularly, which I think is funny. For those that don’t know, it uses a simple ‘roll over your current stress’ to achieve anything cool or dangerous. If you’re doing something your profession should be good at, you get to roll two dice and pick the best one.

Additionally there’s a simple ‘hunt’ track used in the adventure, this is what the GM rolls against for the alien to see if it runs when damaged, or if it is ready to fight. This is, more or less, the creature learning that you’re not so tough and that you could easily be eaten.

The game could also save your game night:

OTHERSHIP is a REVELATION. You would know this if you read the FAQ:

Or the Rascal Announcement:

Now, the thing with the Rascal Announcement is that it was written by me, about my game. In it I quote myself from the FAQs (which, obviously, only I am doing the answering and asking). I also interview myself in it, providing a quote about how it’s the perfect game for a convention. Right now I am writing to you about all of that. Stupid isn’t it?

Even more tragically, I posted on Reddit about it.

I got lots of comments about the line in the FAQ, here, about how complicated Mothership is. Obviously this is a joke? You knew that right?

People know when I am joking right? They’re just playing a joke on me, right? A joke where they don’t get the joke, right?

Anyway, all of this boils down to one simple thing: buy my game.

A note on “Chris why are you still using substack? Isn’t it bad now?” and the answer is that, yes, I understand it is bad. I will leave. I would like to bring you with me to my own wordpress site. I’ll let you know when I get around to that, and you’ll be able to unsubscribe if you don’t want my emails any more. As to why I haven’t done it yet… the options available to me seem expensive or limited. I’ve decided to try and do more with my little website, here. Which means I have to rework a load of stuff. It’s fine, but it’s a bigger job than you might think as I have years of poetry nonsense on there.

buy my game.

OTHERSHIP

Ada Press Games

Dying in rotten space hulks has never been on so few pages using so few dice (citation needed)

If there’s one-to-three things I hear people say about Mothership over and over, it’s “oh I would love to play it, but it’s simply too rules heavy” and “I’m really not sure if I can deal with dice that go up to 100” and “the core books are simply too long with too many words in them”.

So while Mothership is made by beautiful, thoughtful and inspired people, it really needed working over with a hammer by someone who has let themselves go a bit. And that’s where I come in.

Welcome to OTHERSHIP.

This is a new, two page game zine about dying in space, get it here:

Die! In! Space!

It has also been published in the excellent Wyrd Science. It’s in issue 7, here! It’s probably better to buy it in Wyrd Science because you get other cool stuff too.

What I really like about this game is actually it’s compact format. You just need to print a single A4 sheet on both sides and then fold it twice and you’ve got a cute little book with rules inside, a character sheet back cover and – when you open the whole thing out – an adventure, map and GM console

Also, one “fan” (someone on bluesky who liked my post) has called the FAQ portion of the itch page ‘Amazing’:

READ! THE! FAQ!

ALSO: If you’re a reviewer, blogger, or inlfuential government minister, please let me know and I’ll drop you a free link to the files on itch.

Thanks for reading!

Home Is Where The Art Is

Ada Press Games

A brief list of new stuff

Things have happened. These are the things:

I have been reviewing games again! For the excellent TTRPG store Tabletop Bookshelf. They’re doing a good job of curation over there, so it’s just wall to wall bangers. Here’s two reviews so far:

WHAT LIES BENEATH. Is this the Dark Souls of Choose Your Own Adventure games? Sort of! It’s really good fun, has loads of great gamey mechanics, and was quite hard to write about as you just don’t want to spoil anything!

HOME. This is a really interesting solo mecha-and-map-making game about punching big demons. Except it’s really about a sense of loss and desire for personal connection.

And this is a collaborative attempt at survival – at the table and in-world – you cannot do this alone. There is no Superman here, and – we assume – that these giant mecha have been created through giant efforts on behalf of our nations. The chance for us to pilot them is also part of that effort. You are not Superman, you are simply the bullet placed in the largest gun on earth in the hope that this weapon is the one to do the job. So it’s fair that we take that seriously.

I HAVE A COVER for THE FRANKENSTEIN SOCIETY MEETING HANDBOOK. This is exciting news as it means my layout and graphic designer has broken the back of the beast. I really want to get this game out into the world as I feel I can’t put anything else out until this one is in people’s hands. I am pleased with this progress though.

(No, I am not sharing the cover until we’re finished.)

WYRD SCIENCE IS ON THE INFORMATION SUPER HIGHWAY and that means a few of my pieces are online now too. John has done some amazing work with the new site, and the sheer weight of talent that he’s had across the various issues of Wyrd Science is enough to do that bit in Interstellar where they go to the planet near the black hole.

And he also published me a couple of times:

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE MAUSLAND. The feature that will make you want to buy Mausritter, if you don’t own it already. It may also make you actually play it, if you do own it.

LICHOMA REVIEW. I take a meat cleaver to this clever TTRPG of horrible dismemberment and cardplay. It’s wonderful.

ULTRAVIOLET GRASSLANDS 2E REVIEW. In which I bumble about across the most beautiful weird scenery in any spacey TTRPG and discover that Luka took out the shyness from UVG 1E and added in a bunch of boardgameyness. It’s a great game and, I think, an interesting review.

BUT CHRIS, HOW DO I PAY MONEY FOR WYRD SCIENCE? I am so glad you asked! Visit the website, and hit the SUBSCRIBE button, and then set yourself up for a rolling $5 a month. If you’re a pervert for paper, head over here to buy back issues of the magazine.

BUT CHRIS, HOW DO I GIVE YOU MONEY DIRECTLY? You can’t! I’ve already been paid! I’m a sunk cost! Reward their foolishness so they do it again!

I’ve also slung my one good game about hunting a slug beast into this Pay What You Want Bundle on Itch. It goes live tonight, so check back then to get a load of games for like… nearly nothing.

Thanks for reading. Follow me on Bluesky

Acknowledgements

Ada Press Games

… with great thanks.

I’ve spent a lot of time writing in my life. At the start it was novels. I have drawers with complete-but-not-finished manuscripts. One of the idle dreams I had about getting these things published was that I would get to write an acknowledgements page. I used to think about being able to thank all the people in my life, having all their names written down in a book that could exist (probably unread) beyond any of our time on the earth.

But today I have real thanks to give. I’ve been freelancing for a couple of months now and I’ve only been able to keep everything relatively normal at home because of the opportunities which I have been given by extremely kind people in the Tabletop Industry. I like to imagine I’ve been offered these gigs because I’m either a safe pair of hands, they like how I think, or because of my writing elsewhere – but I know it’s also because these are some of the nicest people in the business.

So, here’s an acknowledgement page:

  • Thanks to John at Wyrd Science, who not only gave me tons of space in the upcoming issue of Wyrd Science – but also allowed me to write on two of my favourite subjects: Mausritter and third party adventures/modules. You should buy some magazines.

  • Thank you to Matt and Tamzin Henderson at Loke Battle Mats who made me a early bird special. I got to put together what ended up being something like a regional setting across 12 months. The almanac is full of cool ideas for events, celebrations and adventure in a magically radiated rural setting. I think Loke will have it on sale on their site eventually, but for now: you should buy some maps.

  • Thank you to Anna Blackwell for giving me the great privilege of editing For Small Creatures Such As We. I was tasked with picking up the last typos, making sure every page reference was correct and the usual editing stuff. It was 246 pages and we were aiming for a 6 day turnaround. And we did it. This is a solo game of space and self exploration with a scope I’ve rarely seen. It weirdly reminds me of Yakuza 0 – you can choose your own path through the game, explore the world and place your own meaning on things, but also there’s a million distracting mini games. You could be running a business, fighting evil, doing evil, gambling, podracing – you know, all that stuff! It’s a great work and pre-orders are open for small creatures such as you.

  • Thank you to Chris at Beyond Cataclysm for letting me write an adventure for his incredibly innovative FÖUR BORG. You know what people say about MÖRK BORG right? “It’s simply too complicated” and “There are too many sides to those dice. Who needs 20 sided-anything?” Luckily for you, Chris Lowry has solved this by creating FOUR BORG. All dice are replaced with a D4s in an exploding dice pool system that is both brilliant and brutal. Chris let me write the rest of the included adventure, which happens in a pyramid of course. I think I’ve made a really good puzzle-or-die adventure. Buy four copies here.

  • and thank you Charlie at Tabletop Gaming, who still puts up with my reviews :)

So, thanks!

Making a monster is hard. Apparently. Though I think I’ve just broken the back of the problem I’ve had with the FRANKENSTEIN MEETING SOCIETY HANDBOOK. I had sold the book as a 1-99 player game – i.e. a funny range that publishers like Big Potato stick on their game boxes to indicate it’s for everyone! I’m happy with the way I’ve planned out the solo mode (it’s a correspondence course for making monsters where you’re paired with another and very quickly generate their monster progress and news). But the multiplayer game just didn’t feel right, especially at two where it could be a bit slow.

Anyway, the conclusion I’ve come to is that we can use the solo mode monster generation to represent Absent Members who have posted in their news to boost the effect of having more people around the table. I’ve basically added ‘bots’ to the game, except they’re just a couple of dice rolls and look-ups on a table. It works nicely and give the host role a bit more of a ‘GM’ feel.

Anyway, progress on the game is finally coming along now, thankfully!

You might be wondering: ‘how do I get on a big sexy thank you list like that one at the start of this email?’

Well, you’re in luck. I am still available for freelance work!

  • Adventure/scenario writing – Need a starter adventure for your game’s system? Need a campaign for your board game? Scenarios for your wargame? I’m in!

  • Reviews, development, consultancy – Want to know if your game is good, finished, or correctly pitched? Let me tell you! I can provide extensive development feedback, mock reviews and useful criticism. Let me fix your rulebook.

  • Lore, fiction, short stories, vibes, ephemera – Want more vibes? I’m happy to provide stories, in world documents, background and pretty much any style of fiction you need.

  • I can make your kickstarter page not shit – Mostly by putting words in the right order and making your game’s proposition really clear. It’s easy to get muddled and think that your clever use of dice is why people want to play, when actually it’s because you’ve got a cool world to explore.

Email me at christopherjohneggett@gmail.com and we’ll work out what I can do for you!

24 Hours To Almanac

Ada Press Games

Oh, and 12 D&D 5E adventures with maps!

You have only 24 (and a bit) hours to get one of the longest pieces of TTRPG writing I’ve put together so far. Loke Battlemats, the purveyors of the best battlemats out there, have comissioned me to create an ‘Alamanac’ to work alongside their 2025 Calendar of Many Adventures.

If you back the calendar in the next 24 (and a bit!) hours you get the Alamanac totally free as a PDF with it.

The calendar has 12 D&D 5E adventures in it, a battlemap for each adventure (that you can actually use at the table) and… all those calendary bits you can normally use for things like, I don’t know, scheduling your actual games.

Perfect, right?

The part I have written is a series of adventure hooks for the magically radiated region of Gossport. The river runs down from some mountains full of simply too much rotting magical power. It’s made things a bit weird, and this Almanac is designed to help locals deal with the magical and the banal by highlighting key festivals, events, warnings and, er, the weather!

The truth is, it’s kind of Welcome to Nightvale as a fantasy RPG setting. A mix of the rural/suburban with completely nuts elements treated as ‘something we just deal with round here’. And deal with it you will.

And the MEGA TRUTH is that there’s about 10x as much #content and ideas in this little book as there are in your favourite vibes-based indie TTRPG.

Also, I’ve been pretty funny in what I am now referring to as my ‘poundland Neil Gaiman’ style.

Get the calendar and the Almanac here, right now for the next 24 hours (and a bit!)

and if you like that, and this, or how I’ve told you about it at least, please share using this little button right here:

Share

Elsewhere and elsewise:

IT LIVES

Ada Press Games

But what now?

We finally launched the Kickstarter for THE FRANKENSTEIN SOCIETY MEETING HANDBOOK. You can get the physical game for £10 and the pdf for £5. It’s a stupid game about creating monsters with your friends, without becoming so embarrassed with your work that you need to chuck your monster away! There’s a button below that will take you to a page where you can back it. Magic!

Join The Monster Club

I’ll not bother everyone about the game again (until it funds and ships at least).

I’ve got a cool draft of a post about my Game of the Year 2023. Spring 2024 is when these things drop right? That’s what is coming up next.

I did a TikTok, for my sins.

I also have a couple of reviews coming up in Tabletop Gaming magazine, including Banish The Snakes and Halls of Hegra – both of which are amazing in the right context.

And then I’ve got a biggish Mausritter thing in the always excellent WYRD SCIENCE.

If you’ve got a project ongoing at the moment, I’d love to read about it in the replies here.