In Tom Wait’s seminal guide to product development Step Right Up (1979, Small Change) he explains what great products do. We’ve synthesised his work into this simple checklist. Ideally, any product you wish to release to market would have at least 50% of these boxes ticked.

☐ Everyone’s a winner
☐ Bargains galore
☐ One tenth of a dollar
☐ We got service after the sale
☐ How ’bout perfume
☐ How ’bout an engagement ring
☐ Somethin’ for the little lady (x3)
☐ 3 for a dollar
☐ We got a year end clearance
☐ We got our white sale on a smoke damaged furniture
☐ You can drive it away today.
☐ And receive as our gift
☐ They come in all colors
☐ One size fits all
☐ No muss, no fuss, no spills
☐ You tired of kitchen drudgery
☐ Everything must go
☐ Goin’ outta bizness sale (50% off original retail price)
☐ Skip the middle man
☐ Don’t settle for less
☐ Don’t be caught with your drawers down
☐ That’s right it fillets
☐ It chops, it dices, it slices
☐ It never stops
☐ Lasts a lifetime, it mows your lawn
☐ It picks up the kids from school
☐ It gets rid of unwanted facial hair
☐ It gets rid of embarrassing age spots
☐ It delivers the pizza
☐ And it lengthens
☐ And it strengthens
☐ And it finds that slipper that’s be en-lodged under the chaise lounge for several weeks
☐ And it plays a mean rhythm master
☐ It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
☐ And it’s only a dollar
☐ ’cause it forges your signature
☐ If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product for a complete refund of price of purchase
☐ Please allow thirty days for delivery
☐ Don’t be fooled by cheap imitations
☐ You can Live in it
☐ Laugh in it
☐ Love in it
☐ Swim in it
☐ Sleep in it
☐ And it removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets
☐ And it entertains visiting relatives
☐ It turns a sandwich into a banquet
☐ Tired of being the life of the party
☐ Change your shorts
☐ Change your life, change into a 9 year old Hindu boy
☐ Get rid of your wife
☐ And it walks your dog
☐ And it doubles on sax
☐ You can jump back jack
☐ And it steals your car
☐ It gets rid of your gambling debts
☐ It quits smoking
☐ It’s a friend, it’s a companion
☐ It’s the only product you will ever need
☐ Follow these easy assembly instructions
☐ It never needs ironing
☐ Well it takes weights off hips, Bust, Thighs, Chin, Midriff
☐ Gives you dandruff
☐ And it finds you a job
☐ It is a job
☐ And it strips the phone company of free tapes and your while exchange
☐ And it gives you denture breath
☐ And it gets rid of your travellers checks
☐ It’s new, it’s improved, it’s old fashioned
☐ Well it takes care of business
☐ Never needs winding
☐ Gets rid of blackheads, heartbreak, and psoriasis
☐ Christ, you don’t know the meaning of heartbreak buddy
☐ It creates household odors
☐ It disinfects
☐ It’s sanitised for your protection
☐ It gives you an erection
☐ It wins the election
☐ Why put up with painful corns any longer
☐ It’s a redeemable coupon
☐ No obligation
☐ No salesman will visit your home
☐ We got a jackpot Prizes! Prizes! Prizes!
☐ All work guaranteed
☐ Free brochure
☐ Read the easy to follow assembly instructions
☐ Batteries not included
☐ Send before midnight tomorrow
☐ The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away